There's no such thing as Happily Ever After

That's the lesson that we intentionally try to impart upon our daughters, isn't it? Life is not a fairy tale, there will be heartbreak, disappointment, and tribulations that we all go through, we need want to establish realistic expectations with our children. Because surely this is not something that they will learn on their own, right?

But what if that really is doing them a disservice? This is not to say we need to fill their heads with notions of whirlwind romances that result in effortless marriages, but hear me out.

A mother tells her daughter that Prince Charming's do not exist, men are not really like that, life is hard and unfair and she should get used to being disappointed by them and everyone else. You cannot rely on anyone but yourself, and you MUST on all accounts put yourself and your best interests first. I've heard all those things, many times, from many different people. We are jading God's beautiful invention from the word go. This little girl who grows up hearing this has a preconceived notion of men - that they are ALL faulted, they are ALL going to disappoint you, they are ALL horribly imperfect, they are ALL lazy, they are ALL selfish, they are ALL pigs, on and on. So she lowers her standards. She accepts things because she believes that is just the way it is. She settles, because Prince Charming does not exist.

She carries this mentality through her relationships, the memories of being told all about how lazy and dumb and thoughtless men are, constantly guiding her actions and words. Her decisions are self-serving because she believes she cannot rely on a man to provide her with anything. The man in this relationship feels emasculated, disrespected, unnecessary.

Or it goes the other direction. She allows herself to be mistreated, she puts up with inappropriate behavior, she feels unappreciated and commonplace, but she endures because there's no such thing as a happily ever after, this is just the way life is.

But it's not, it doesn't have to be, and we should not convince our daughters that it is! Let them believe that there is a Prince out there for them, because there is! Before she was even born, God laid out a plan for her, including a man who will LOVE her and HONOR her and treat her like a PRINCESS! I know a handful of couples like this, and it's not a charade. Do they have hard times? Yes! They know that marriage takes work, but they know that with God it is beautiful, it is holy, it is sacred.

Teach your daughters to hold herself in such high esteem that she will not accept anything less than to be treated like a princess. Teach her that it is okay to wait for someone that fulfills Godly standards. Teach her that life is not perfect, but there is someone out there who was made perfectly for her. Instead of painting a shadow over God's perfect design, illuminate it. Tell her about how wonderful it can be if she waits for God 's timing. Teach her that men are made in God's image, that we are all flawed, but that with the Lord's help she will find a man that she can rely on, a man she can depend on, a man who can walk with her through this life as a loving partner and equal. Not someone above her, and not someone below.

The world is harsh enough, and sadly our daughters will eventually know disappointment and heartache without our help. So counter it. Encourage them to believe in redemption, in forgiveness, in perseverance - that is to say, encourage them to believe in true love.